I prefer to use my blog and my social media to be comical, weird and a little-too-self-indulgent. I prefer to tell jokes and stories and occasional bits of fiction, rather than wax philosophically about politics or religion or justice. And yet ... And yet, I feel compelled to chirp out a few thoughts on all of those "deep" topics right now. In the midst of some very heavy headlines, I'm feeling a burden to use my words to speak truth and love in place of my usual comical programming. Be … [Read more...]
hair and regret.
She-who-will-remain-nameless: "Wow, your hair is ... different." Me: "Yep! Like it?" SWWRN: "Um, it's ... unique. It's kind of the thing right now." Me: "Yep." (I'm smiling because I know she is afraid to say she hates it.) SWWRN: "What will you think about that haircut in thirty years? Don't you think you'll look back and think, 'wow, 2014 was weird' and kind of regret it?" I'm not actually sure I responded to this. I might have feigned amusement and changed the subject. What I am sure … [Read more...]
900 miles in 8 days.
On Saturday night I fell asleep in the only clean clothes I still have, half a text message drafted, a full cup of tea on the night stand. But it was in my bed—where I am almost positive my memory foam loves me just as much as I love it. In eight days I hadn't slept in the same house any two consecutive days. I traveled more than 900 miles in that time, but never made it more than 150 miles away from my house. I worked three different jobs and comforted half a dozen miniature … [Read more...]
What I Learned.
I know I said I hate lists a couple blog posts ago. But I lied. And then I wrote a list. Here's what I've learned this week: 1. I'm a hot mess. No for real though. I leap before I look. I channel Peter and just step out of that darn boat and then I TOTALLY FREAK OUT and start SINKING! I nearly lopped someone's ear off today, without seeing the situation was still full of grace and redemption. Oh, Peter. 2. I might actually be a grown up. I'm a runner. When things get hard, I run. When … [Read more...]
To California With Love
I told myself I'd never be the girl who fell in love with California. "How cliché." I told myself that the sunshine and celebrities were over-rated. I told myself I was too much of a progressive hippie to fall for such a superficial place. It turns out I lied. My first visit to California found me in the wrong parts of East L.A. sorting boxes of donated food. I learned three phrases in Spanish, crushed on a kid with a goatee and folded a whole lot of bedsheets. Since that week … [Read more...]
a list for single people.
A few months ago my young married friend told me she wants me to hang out with a single friend of hers so I can help him learn how to be happy even though he's single. I love her for thinking I could help at all. I laugh because it's not something a person can be taught. They have to just get over themselves long enough to find other things they want in life besides a spouse. But I like a good challenge. So I made this: 5 WAYS TO LIVE A FULFILLED LIFE WHILE BEING SINGLE 1. Avoid/ignore … [Read more...]
the thing about lists.
10 Things Every 20-something Should Learn 5 Habits of Life-long Readers 13 Ways to Love Yourself 4 Things Women Wish Men Knew 39 Things Single People Should Know 8 Ways You Need to Cook Your Eggs OR YOU WILL DIE 100 LISTS THAT TELL YOU WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE BECAUSE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY DOING IT WRONG. So, um, yes. That last headline screams at me when I see lists filling up my Facebook news feed. It makes me sad, because I really am a sucker for the lists. (BuzzFeed has … [Read more...]
cheaters never prosper.
Cheaters never prosper. Who said that anyway? Cheaters never prosper. And I am the worst cheater of all. My first love so long ago was Drawing. My sister has signed pictures from a four-year-old with my curls and exact same birthmark. But sadly, young love is a fickle thing and I cheated on Drawing when I became a reader. Reading was my true love. None of that fluff about being a famous artist. Reading required nothing from me but my time. And so I was a ferocious reader. I have a list … [Read more...]
my furry companion and Deborah.
We’re sitting shoulder to shoulder. Literally. At first I sat up and leaned on my left hip, but that starts to ache in the places I injured years ago. So now I am allowing my arm to rest against his. I can feel his forearm flex as his fingers shuffle the cards on smart-phone-solitaire. He’s furry and smells of the outdoors and has said only two words, but I am sure I trust him. I swear I didn’t mean to, but I saw when he sat down he texted Deborah to let her know he boarded his plane. I … [Read more...]
new year.
This is not a resolution. Only ... I'm starting at the beginning of this new year. So it sort of feels like it is one. Which means it is doomed to failure. Sigh. But I'm going to try it anyway. In an attempt to save the U.S. postal service from shutting down (not the real reason), I am going to attempt to send out TWO letters EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. this year. (Three letters when I'm feeling extra spunky.) … [Read more...]
swimsuits and red lipstick.
I usually blog when I am procrastinating. Today is only a little different. Today, I set out to get real work done, but my angry hip is extra angry and I can't focus. So I thought I'd go to bed early and get some sleep, but I also can't sleep. I can almost always sleep, but when I can't—I blog. I've had these ideas on my mind for a very long time. But I owed so many people SO many projects I said I would complete SO many moons ago ... and that left me feeling guilty about blogging about my … [Read more...]
inadequate.
{ It's after midnight. Do not trust anything I say after midnight. I become increasingly ridiculous and tend towards the dramatic when running on little sleep. However, I am still going to hit publish because sometimes after midnight I am brilliant. Here's hoping today is one of those days. } I am inadequate. I've known it my whole life. I've known it since those days oh so long ago when my mom told me that my straight A's were "boring" and my dad told me I talked too much and laughed … [Read more...]
idelette.
I should be working on A HUNDRED projects I said YES to right now. I should be scouring my archives for a great photo for Holly's SheLoves blogpost on Monday. I should be organizing and drafting our November zine. Or organizing all the photos Kelley sent me for the Community of Hope quarterly flipbook. I really should be designing the church directory for the lovely place where nobody knows me, but I feel cozy joining in on Sunday mornings. I should also probably be exhausted from having … [Read more...]
drifting.
Have you ever had a break-up so final that even after you returned all their stuff you still wished you could return the memories? I have. I've never had a boyfriend, but I have had a break-up. It's a long sad story. Too long for this blog. The short version is that break-ups sometimes happen between friends too. It's worse than a romantic break-up, trust me. I have 23 years of evidence to prove I don't do well when I get left behind. Which is how I somehow became the person who … [Read more...]
coffee rant
Today I realized I'm never really going to get into Tacoma coffee culture. That must sound odd, since my day job is as a barista in a little cafe in Tacoma. I make a damn good cup off coffee and when I'm really on my game I can even make a little bear's face in the top if your cup. He's usually made of foam and sunshine and sarcasm. But I know I'm not going to be the *rock star* barista, because I'm not really pretentious enough to think specialty coffee is God's gift to humanity and … [Read more...]