You know how guys will sometimes have a “wingman?” The guy who helps them get the girl.
A woman can have a wingman too. Only you can’t call her a wingman. For one, she’s not a man. Two, “wingchick” sounds like something you order at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
So my roommates and I decided that a woman’s wingman is a Midge.
You know, Barbie‘s best friend?
The darker-haired, freckled one.
The one that never got with Ken.
So it turns out I’m a Midge.
I’m the girl who will always help my friend get the guy in the end. I’ll talk her up. I’ll tell cute stories about how funny she is. I’ll even tell the guy I like how caring and nice she is when he admits he likes her.
I’ve been doing this for years. Like the main character in the movie 27 Dresses. The only difference is I’m not hot like Katherine Heigl. So I’m really screwed.
I’m a pro at being Midge.
So if you ever like playing the part of Barbie just come hang out with me. I guarantee that if you’re with me the guys will notice you. I’m like the wrong end of a magnet pushing everyone away.
For now, screaming helps.
In other news, check out what Margaux Lange is doing with Barbie. Awesome.