Last night I went to a cemetery in L.A.To watch a movie.This post is not about that.This post is about what else happened to me at the movie.It was dark and my friend and I made our way to the port-potties before the movie started. She was relying on me to find an open stall with the light on my phone.I Found an open stall for my friend right away and then went on the hunt for another stall. I spotted one marked "vacant" just two stalls down and opened the door whilst shouting, "TA DA!" to … [Read more...]
tall man.
The tall man was rugged and beautiful. The sandpaper on his face was always the same length. It took her months to realize he looked disheveled on purpose. This disappointed her.The tall man was rugged and naïve. The contradiction was endearing in a way that both annoyed her and empowered her. She felt that, in spite of his obvious physical strength, she was the strong one. At first she loved this feeling. The times she pressured him to try new foods or travel to the wrong part of town or dance … [Read more...]
worldview.
I know there are studies on worldview and names for different worldviews, but I'm not that deep or detailed, so let's just call this Sarah's worldview.I grew up believing all kinds of things were sins that aren't really sins. (Things like swearing and smoking and sex and skipping church. I can see how these could all be sins when used with a sinister spirit and a hardened heart. I can also see how these things can just be things, like taking your dog for a walk or mailing a letter or sleeping … [Read more...]
some days.
Some days I wake up feeling so very small.Some days hopelessness feels more tangible than joy.Some days I wonder what I am doing here? What am I working towards? A degree in journalism that I may never use? Camera gear that will never teach me anything about life?Shouldn't my life be about something so much more purposeful than what I am doing here? Shouldn't I just sell it all and move to India or Uganda or anywhere really and open an orphanage or a food bank or a health center?I am … [Read more...]
fairy tales.
I think we do a disservice to children by feeding them only fairy tales.Hold on, don't stop reading, let me explain.Don't get me wrong, I love fairy tales and happy endings and knights in shining armor, and dragons to slay and magic and wonder.But I've been thinking about the classic fairy tales. They teach kids, especially girls, to romanticize everything. Ever notice how every fairy tale goes a little like this: boy meets girl, boy rescues girl from evil (dragon, witch, wizard, you name it), … [Read more...]
busy.
Busy is an understatement.Seriously. I'm not sure how I'm still functioning right now.Spring quarter I took on a third job, more hours at Starbucks and my culminating project for my Visual Journalism class that involved hours of design and web development for a non-profit organization in the community.I was pretty busy and dreaming of summer vacation.Well, summer vacation started exactly six days ago.In that six days I have managed to take on two new jobs and agree to design Klipsun Magazine … [Read more...]
What does Christmas taste like?
A couple days ago I was working the drive thru window at Starbucks and a car pulls up."Hey there, how's it going?""Oh it's good. I don't know what I want."Pause."Do you have any Christmas flavored lattes?"Like a Douglas Fir flavored latte? I had to turn my headset off so I could literally laugh aloud.My coworker got on the headset and asked, "Well, what does Christmas taste like to you?"Meanwhile I shout (not into the headset), "Yes! We've got one that tastes like Douglas Fir and is filled … [Read more...]
Midge
You know how guys will sometimes have a "wingman?" The guy who helps them get the girl.A woman can have a wingman too. Only you can't call her a wingman. For one, she's not a man. Two, "wingchick" sounds like something you order at Kentucky Fried Chicken.So my roommates and I decided that a woman's wingman is a Midge.Midge.You know, Barbie's best friend?The darker-haired, freckled one.The one that never got with Ken.Midge.So it turns out I'm a Midge.I'm the girl who will always help my … [Read more...]
reading.
I stayed the night at my brother's house last night and before bed he gathered his family together to read the bible. A couple chapters in I started to get sleepy and realized I really had to pee. His three small children were squirming around and trying to be quiet. The 4-year-old leaned over to me and whispered, "This is boring." All I wanted to say was, "I know. I think so too." All I said was, "Shhh. It's almost over." I hope. Six chapters later I wanted to stand up and … [Read more...]
crash.
Monday night I twisted my ankle. Tuesday morning it felt better. I decided to go for a run. It was raining. No sooner had I shut my door behind me, I realized I locked myself out of my house. Oh well, might as well just go for a run and see if anyone is awake by the time I get back. Two minutes into my run my ankle spontaneously gave out on me. It didn't hurt. Just. Stopped. Working. My run became an epic, frantic, skin-breaking slide through the gravel and … [Read more...]
bus.
My life feels like it is on the verge of crashing in on me.And it's exhausting to hold it all together all the time.Today I momentarily thought how nice it would be if I got hit by a bus.Not to die.Just to land a sweet gig in a hospital bed for three weeks and have my job and school get put on hold and no one would judge me for having to take a break to get better.I think my brain got hit by a bus and it needs a break to get better. But without the broken bones to prove it I have to continue … [Read more...]
lemons
A friend of mine once told me, "When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say, 'make your own damn lemonade.'"I like that.I don't feel much like lemonade these days, but I sure do have an awful lot of lemons.We'll see what happens.For now, screaming helps. … [Read more...]